Dogs should stick to biting the mailman :/

Ok it's been a while.. I have been focusing on that work thing since i'm determined to buy a restaurant in 2 years... or less if my kidney for sale on E-Bay gets a hit :D

So today I was minding my own business and had just finished work when I came home to an email  an ex dog that I havent seen or spoken to in over 6 months....

"Hay chick,

How u be? Been a while, have called past a couple of times but your car not there, was even ganna cum knock on your window 1 nite a couple of weeks ago but wasnt sure if i should lol, hope u are well and things are going good.

Hear from u soon i hope

X"

Ok let's break down the stupidity of this dog.

* "Hay chick"  - wtf am I a duck??.... Dude grow a set. Or is it that you forgot my name... surely not since you sent it to my personal email :/ 

* The grammar - Come on! I know you went to school and have owned a business, whats your excuse! I admit my spelling/grammar is shocking but I'm a chef... I dont need to know how to spell CHICKEN! 

* Knocking on a girls (who lives alone) window late at night - really??...this was your brilliant plan??... you don't see anything wrong with this master romantic gesture??.. 

* "have called past a couple of times but your car not there" -  hhhh yeah that doesn't read even slightly stalkerish aye... knowing now you drive past my house regularly which is about half hour outta your way.. yeah nice :/ 

* "Hear from you soon I hope" - are you sitting there seriously thinking this email is going to get any kind of response.. its not even worthy of a "fuck off loser" 

* And as for the "X" -  I'm really hoping this is the location where your body has been buried

Stick to chasing the mailman cause chasing me ain't gonna get you very far....